starbucks red cups.

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having to be frugal these past few weeks (months really) to save up for those things that i really wanted (and i want a lot of things), i didn’t frequent any cafes when normally i would already be going to several different ones in within a week.

but today was the first day of these red cups and i don’t know why i’ve always been so partial to these precious, otherwise plastic, red cups. it was probably for the very obvious reason that it means we’re a little closer to Christmas, which is hands down, my favourite time of the year. i’m not going to lie though… Christmas has been a little lonely these past three years.

i’ve always dreamt about having a white Christmas, and i was ecstatic my first Christmas in Montreal when the ground is literally covered in snow that reaches up to your waist, but the initial spectacle of snow inevitably fades away, and i wished my family could be there with me- going to the church together like how we used to, and have a nice family dinner after. now that i think of it, it’s been a year and a half since the time when it was still the five of us. now that my dad is in another town for work, my middle sister in Sydney, and me in Montreal, it’s only my mom and my youngest sister living in our house back in Bogor. and it’s not like i’m not hearing about it… she’s complaining about it A LOT. but i understand. it must be equally lonely for her just how it’s lonely for me here.

when i was walking to the Starbucks just down McGill College Ave., i saw that the trees are already decorated by Christmas lights. and in that moment, i almost had this very selfish greed of not just wanting, but acutely desiring, my family to be here; and Keidan to be here instead of being in Istanbul, mbak Rachel to be here instead of being in Sauga, and for Jordan to be here despite our recent break up. (because who am i kidding, i do still care about him, even though it isn’t that strong of a feeling now.) why are the people i love so far away from me.

on a more neutral note, i feel like writing a lot recently (which is a good thing); i can feel my writing streak coming back, thankfully, in what i call my period of ‘rest’ just post-midterm but pre-finals. of course, i shouldn’t lose myself in writing and forget about my work because that will always be my priority as a student, but it’s nice to come out and dedicate an hour before class to drink a nice cup of soy latte and write about the things that matters to me. it’ll keep me sane throughout the upcoming cold and dreary months.

does anyone else think that freshly made soy latte tastes like warm liquid ice cream? yes? no? at least for me it is (: just a thought that i want to put out there.

happy monday everyone.

stay warm.

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