i always feel awkward on sundays

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don’t you agree with me?

Sundays are just the most awkward days. somehow you’re not done recuperating from the last week, but at the same time you know that tomorrow’s Monday, so you probably should start getting ready (mentally and physically) for the new week, that may bring you yet again more all nighters and emotional pain.

but today’s Sunday is reflection day for me; to help me settle just about everything that has been happening the past few days (and even the past few weeks)

i’ve been trying to keep myself occupied. i’m now a sponsorship coordinator for three clubs, not to mention i am also taking two of my hardest required courses this semester. i am giving a lot of my time and energy to a bunch of things all at once and i’m not going to lie, one of the reasons why i’m doing this to myself is because i so badly wanted a distraction. but my want of a distraction somehow made me overlook some other things that are also very important.

somewhere in the middle of last week, i let a friend down. and not just a friend, but someone that i really care about; she inspires me, and sort of became my guru in many ways, and i disappointed her. i realized then that my distractions had not only taken my thoughts away from the things that i want to forget, but also from the things that i shouldn’t. i realize that i haven’t been calling my parents that often, nor my sister, and that i haven’t been taking care of the people around me of whom i genuinely cared about.

of course there is nothing that i can do about it now. my apologies, like all other apologies, can only do so much. but if anything, i promise that i will never repeat it again. i felt horrible, and i can’t even begin to imagine how my friend must have felt. i should be taking full responsibilities of my actions, and if for some reason i couldn’t do what i am supposed to do, i swear i’ll never take other people down with me. at the very least, i should be able to do that.

*

apart from that, today is beautiful. it’s so sunny out that i can almost forgive it being so cold. happy sunday (:

p.s. attaching a selfie because it’s been so long (:

love always.

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