i miss writing. i miss drawing. i miss reading. i miss putting red lipstick on and taking pictures of myself. (ew)
but it’s been too long since i do things that i genuinely think could make me grow as a person, and not only as a student. it’s so crazy how the only thing that i have been doing this past week is just study. study for this midterm, study for that midterm, doing this assignment, and doing that assignment.
work of course is never done, and i know college is tough, but i wish i would have time to listen to music, and just listen to music. not listening to music while making feature geometry trees. not listening to music while making valuation rules out of formulation rules. we should all be listening to music like listening to music is what we’re meant to be doing at that exact time. otherwise it’ll just be too bad, wouldn’t it?
at the same time a lot of people couldn’t afford school when they really wanted to go. and that makes me feel bad because i shouldn’t be complaining but i just did. and i totally understand that thirst of education, but i’m not taking back what i just said: that this environment doesn’t give me the fulfillment that i want, and it’s not giving a lot of people the fulfillment that they want.
i am a dreamer, and studying somewhat comes with the package deal of getting what i want. i’m grateful that my parents could afford to pay for my tuition, for my rent, for my food… but this mundane routine of waking up in the morning, walking the same path to campus and going to classes is honestly driving me insane. i’m born to do so much more.