remember when i told you that going back to Indonesia felt like going to rehab? i am finally stepping out the rehab gates. summer is finally here. finally. finally.
and i feel like i need to turn this summer into a self project. the plan is to take better care of myself, i guess in just everything… i want to be happier, i want to smile more to the extent that i will develop smile wrinkles, and i will not care about it until i’m like 25 (because i know i’ll care by then) and start loading my face with anti-aging creams.
of which, speaking of face, and the more physical aspect of myself, i’ve been obsessed with rice water lately. it’s like i’m beginning to worship rice water. i wash my face with rice water, i keep containers of rice water, i even put my face directly on top of the opened rice cooker when steam is evaporating from the newly cooked rice hoping that at least some of them will be absorbed by my skin cells. there’s just something so graceful and beautiful about the dull grey rice water that people (by default) throw away after they wash their rice; i like how it helps you prepare your food and your basic nourishments, but also provides ample moisture for your skin.
and i think everyone needs a period like this. i mean if we’re planes, there should be a time when we go back into our hangars and get them wings and titanium plates polished. not practically just for vanity reasons (although a lot of it is), but also for self improvement. because being a teenager with low self-esteem, it really does help to better yourself in any possible way to get your confidence.
sometimes it’s bad to keep pushing yourself to the edge even though it’s (really) that important. it’ll be like committing suicide, which is very wrong.