dear baby blog.
i know i know…. i haven’t blogged since two weeks ago and now a year has passed. quite the record huh?
i’ll try my best to catch up with the whirlwind that has been happening to me ever since my bum landed in Montreal, but now i just had one of THE BEST new years i have ever had in my entire life which weirdly enough made me feel so nostalgic and so i thought i’d look back to two hours ago when it was still 2012 and see all the kick ass things i’ve done.
2012. i passed the national exams, the school exams, the practical exams and i think i did well. i naively confessed to a guy that i like via facebook and (stupidly) gave him the choice to ignore me if he do not like me. no pressure? right? (wrong). 2012. graduated with an award, earned a pretty high GPA and got accepted into McGill. i awkwardly say goodbye to my old friends. no drama, no mascara stained tears–because an awkward goodbye is the only goodbye i can ever do. 2012. i fell in love with Montreal ever since i saw the city from the plane. i went on my first pub crawl. i met with some of the most intriguing, fascinating, alien-like people i’m lucky to be calling ‘friends’~ and i finally understood that 20 shots is a lot–that maybe i should never ever ever ever drink that much ever again. my hatred towards beer grew a little more++ i realized that some gin smells like conifer trees. 2012. i woke up at two in the morning just to see the meteor shower (which never came)–slept on the pavement in front of the majestic arts building for a good five minutes waiting for the shower to come and when it never came, giving up on it and just walking around Montreal in search for a good poutine place that’s still open. 2012. i was homesick even before i left home. 2012. being terrified at the realization of how much i’m missing my sisters. 2012. seeing the leaves change colors for the first time. seeing snow for the first time. making snow angels for the first time. finally believing that people can live in places where it is freakin -18 centigrade. 2012. i realized i like chicken more than i like beef. fast for two days. became vegetarian for two weeks. 2012. i finally won the spelling bee after being a runner up for 6 years straight. 2012. i did things i know i’m not supposed to do, but i did it anyways… just because.
so i guess i really did something with my life in 2012. things i regret, things i’m proud of, things i wish i never did, but things i’m thankful for nonetheless.
now that it’s 2013, i’ve made a list of the things that i want to do, and of the things that i’m supposed to do. i have more goals to reach and dreams to fulfill but i guess above all else what i really want is to not be scared. to march into midterms and finals knowing i would knock them dead. to love and fall over the edge knowing that 99.9% of the time i will hurt, but to get up again and jump all over again and hurt all over again and again and again and again. to walk with my hands wide open, because even though i know i will scar and bruise, at least i will be ready to catch the good things.
have a blessed new year everyone !
it is finally time to let go of what has passed.