everything changes. and i know that. i knew that. but it doesn’t matter now because i’m learning it the hard way again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. again. for like the nth time now. i shall try and not judge because i’m not exactly in my best condition, but i know for sure now that people don’t just change. they just generally don’t stay. they move around, from places to places, from hearts to hearts, and they also change their shoes so i guess that’s fitting. and i don’t know why i’m mad, or just a little sad, or just feeling totally horrible right now but i think it goes along the lines of having stayed in the same place for a long time and never having the courage to move. or maybe i’m just being a runt and not having the energy to move. i am static. i stay rooted. and even if i move, i move slow. i stare, i hug, i stutter. and the madness doesn’t stop. people walk and run and smell the flowers and watch the falling leaves, and fall in love, and have their hearts broken and fall in love again, and eat meatloaf and then become a vegetarian and then they climb stairs and fall down a well. they never stop. and the worst part is, this is going to happen again. if people leaving has been happening all of these years, i can’t exactly say: “i’m never going to let this happen again.” because it does happen, and it will. that’s just how it goes. people never stay, and i can’t say goodbye.
so no. i’m not feeling well today.