this would be another post-drunk post. yesterday i went to a Halloween party at a club down St. Catherine’s and i know that i said i wouldn’t go overboard because i have to study today, but i pre-drank a lot already. had approximately 10 shots of gin and a shot of tequila and some vodka. didn’t have dinner and only ate a measly bowl of soup for lunch. i am… so mad at myself right now i don’t even… i feel like inflicting pain at myself over and over again but i know that wouldn’t solve anything.
so it wasn’t enjoyable yesterday. it was a horrible mess to be honest. i got separated from Keidan there and was very very worried. and then i suddenly felt sick when i was looking for her. and you know that it never ends well if i get sick because the time span in between getting sick and being hungover is like 3 minutes for me. i don’t get headaches, i don’t get sad or find everything funny, i am sane mentally and know what is going on… i don’t forget names and i remember everything, it’s just that my body is not functioning properly. and i hate when that happens. i hate when my mind is functioning but i can’t control my body and everyone insists on treating me like a child…. i’m grateful that people actually cares about me but in my case, since i’m still mentally sane, it gets all weird for me.
anyways~ here’s my two cents. for people who thinks that ‘living the life’ is to get drunk, then don’t do it. it’s not that i actually thought about it that way, but since i have experienced it firsthand, i can say that it’s not worth it. listen to your parents when they say that there is much more to life than just being popular and going out with friends and dancing and drinking, because there is. sitting in a small little cafe with a mind-blowing book and a fantastic cup of tea is a zillion times better than getting wasted.
and i know you might get tired with me talking about my drinking experience often but i’m determined to record everything that i’ve been through in this blog. not just fun and happy things where everything are rainbows and cupcakes of every shade but also the things that embarrass the hell out of me, things that makes me angry, things that mortify me.
and this is one of those moments, where i write my story that i hoped has never happened knowing that it would get published for people to read.
i hope you excuse my method, but writing is the easiest way for me to redeem myself.