“our decisions say far more about the small number of spaces available and the difficult choices we make than they do about a candidate’s personal and academic promise.”

hey b~

the reason i was sooo nervous yesterday was because today, i finally get to know my dream university admissions decisions.

i didn’t get in 😥

*sigh* i’m upset, a little bit confused here and there, but i’m not surprised… i guess with everyone making it their dream university and subsequently applying there will make decisions hard to make… or maybe i’m just not smart enough (?) i was accepted to two other universities already, but still, this was the one that i have been rooting for for so long now. it’s a bit weird to know that you don’t have that hope to hold on to anymore. :/

so of course i cried a little, and prayed… but it’s never the end of the road for me. not here.

because i somehow picture my dreams as a collage of events that happens in my life. i want to go to a great university, i want to do charity, write best-selling books that will be translated to 37 other languages and made into a movie (XD) , and i want to give back to the community. i’m ambitious, and no matter how hard i try to suppress it in the light of ‘trying to give other people a chance’, i’m always going to be a born leader. Rome wasn’t built in a day… and there’s absolutely many ways to go to Rome. i might not get the path that i preferred and chosen initially, but i’m sure i’ll get there–one way or another.

you know what? sometimes i think the rejection bothers me. not really the fact that i would not be able to go there, just that rejection sentence: “i am genuinely sorry that we are not able to offer you a place in the class of 2016.”

well, it has always been a ‘gamble’ university after all. it’s not that i don’t know getting in is hard, but still, gamble or not gamble, you put in hope in these kinds of things. instill a bit of yourself in your yearning that when the decision comes, you’ll be able to get in.

i know this post awfully sounds like i’m trying to convince myself, but i’m glad to say that it’s not. at least i know that much. if i can’t control myself from writing this post then i would most definitely not write it. yet. 😀

so here’s to a beginning. maybe not my idea of a ‘beginning’, but a beginning nonetheless. i have faith in God, and the fact that he’s writing an amazing future for me, regardless of which university i go to.

x

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