life is a little too weird. the harder we try to figure it out, the weirder it gets, which is why sometimes it’s better to just let the matter rest and enjoy the roller coaster ride.
but then at times you cannot help but wonder… how the mother whom you thought knows you so well, and helped you with your college applications and all that, could misunderstand and misjudge you so wrongly.
sometimes you wonder how the friends that you thought are the basic cement and foundation of your no-flaw support system could turn their backs on you, and even transform themselves into vines that suffocate you.
and then most of the time, you despise yourself for thinking that way.
“how could i ever think like that of them?” and “even though it hurts, i’m sure they didn’t do that intentionally.”
but then the whole cycle happens again, and you wondered what went wrong. is the world naturally like this? or is this the side effect of dynamicity that everyone has so long craved and worshiped?
so now i’m just a lost little girl. with a family and friends that could sometimes be so nice you feel like you owe them your life, but then sometimes be so ever hurtful to the point where you just want to be a nomad and travel the world alone. when every wall, floor and ceiling feel like it’s pressing your innards and cause you to be claustrophobic, a little girl could only do so much as to hug her frail little knees and pray that somehow things will be alright.
and this post doesn’t have to mean anything to anyone. because this post is about me, and just about how damn confused i am right now.