the proud, albeit insecure, lioness

*tunes back in* talking about zodiacs in my previous post, i think i’m going to blog a little about being a Leo… just little tidbits here and there, you know me 😉

okay, so a confession: i used to hate being a Leo. in fact, i became fond of the zodiac only after i’m done scrutinizing myself and also accepting the fact that my birth date will never change, which really is just a good 6 months ago.

as a Leo, i simply hate how magazine articles, or any zodiac writings for that matter, make me sound like i’m a female Hitler. or not specifically Hitler… you know, just someone unpleasant. arrogant, selfish, vain, natural born actor…

i can accept criticism. really, i can… but i always find myself cringing internally when reading those stuff.

i’ve always wanted to be a Virgo. or at least, used to. always said to be fighting for what’s right, striving for the best, caring for others, and born under the sign of a virgin, which at least, make Virgos sound pure… unlike my arrogant and vain counterpart.

but the truth is, i strongly despise the arrogant stamp. the one thing that i constantly keep in check as a growing up teen is to not be overconfident. it’s true that once in a while, i want to walk my own way, not get copied by others, stand out a little… i mean, it’s human to want to shine once in a while, right? but no, i never think that i’m the greatest, and have always pined for that little confident boost that would not make me the insecure little pup i am. && i always make sure to always have my feet firmly planted on the ground, and i’m thankful for my friends and family for always reminding me to do so. i’m sometimes boring; i don’t mind not being the center of attention; i’m not a good actor (or actress at that), despite the fact that my mom said otherwise (which really doesn’t count)… i am not; i’m not really party girl material; and no no no, i’m not good at everything.

in spite of wanting to stand out a little, i’m happier when i manage to blend in the crowd and be invisible. as i weave through life, i realize that being the ripple underneath the calm water is better rather than being a distinctive wave. i like the idea of stealth hidden in between the metaphor 😀

but i do like it when people depend on me. it makes me feel dependable, and trustworthy. i love having long relationships, i am less intolerant to things nonsensical and i am a loud talker, that part is true. i’m so concentrated with sarcasm and complaints that i sometimes hate myself for that. i’ve also always thought of myself as a born leader… i like to lead, take on responsibilities, and make sure that the people whom i care about and love very much could arrive at their destinations safely.

i guess i might be partly a disgrace to the Leo community. a timid lion, imagine that!  but i’m fine this way.

alas, everyone has their positive and negative sides. i don’t live by the rules of a zodiac prediction in a fashion spread, but if i’m going to do this right, i’m going to have to do a damn good job at playing the role of an insecure, but proud lioness. 😀

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