let’s cut to the chase now.
i’m really really really not feeling well. both physically and emotionally. my body is aching. my stomach is aching. my head is aching. and i think everyone is in a very bad mood which ruins me even more emotionally.
had one hell of a nightmare yesterday night. or morning. >< it was 3 am in the morning and i dreamed that my friend Nina died, and it’s all my fault. i’m seriously not exaggerating this, but i had tears in my eyes when i woke up and i felt so so guilty. it felt real, and i was really really scared. so i prayed and suddenly remembered that there’s a scene in my writing where the character is responsible for the death of his loved one. and so i wrote. i turned my fears into inspiration and i felt so happy to be able to do so. after drinking a cup of very strong sweet black tea, i’m finally able to go back to bed.
tbh blog… a reason why i couldn’t reach my goals so easily is because i’m human. and being human as i am, i’m constantly exhausted. my exhaustion gets in the way of my ambition and i really hate it. so here i am, feeling sick, and still determined to write and finish my story. because i’ve been using my exhaustion as a reason to skip writing all the time that it’s making me so damn frustrated.
so i shall fight. the only plus side: i may be losing weight 😉 lol.
oh, and i forget to mention. i just came back from Karawaci. the place that i have been staying for the last 2 days, but tomorrow, early in the morning, i would already be departing from home (again) to go to Bandung for another vacational trip. i know… i know… i’m already complaining to you that i’m tired, but it’s my dad that i’m worried about. i just hope that tomorrow the traffic wouldn’t be that bad, because no matter how tired i am, he will always be more exhausted than me.
i’m praying for the best in everything. *sigh*
and i might not be able to blog again for another 4 days… *sighs again* but you can bear with it, right blog? in the mean time, i’ll be writing my brains off and finish this book that i have had in my dream factory for quite a while.