curiosity kills the cat. confusion kills me.

good day blog 🙂 today’s the first day of fasting, so my school made it a one-day holiday just to honor the Muslims for their first day of fasting. and so i had the day off today, which was always good 😉

anyways, i just wanted to start with a sunny intro. the rest of the post wouldn’t be too happy.. no it won’t sadly.

i’m actually very confused. i’m one very confused person. minutes ago, i was like: “what the heck… carpe diem” and then he didn’t reply. it took so much effort for me to build that confidence of saying ‘hi’ and he didn’t reply back. he went offline. and now i’m like: *blushes and hides*

idk what i want. i really want to know the truth. of what’s going on… but then again, i don’t feel like knowing now. i think i’m not ready. so i’m sorry if my confusion makes you confused. or even disgust you. maybe :/ it’s just that i like you so much. and even though you might not or can’t feel the same way, i totally understand. well, not totally… but i will. i will teach myself to expect less from all of this. but please, just do not tell me anything just yet. for the meantime, i wish we could just talk. like how we used to before everything got so complicated. or deemed complicated.

i wish i could just be with you. and maybe, for just one moment pretend that we’re going the same direction despite all the odds that were against us. but that might never happen. and i’m learning to accept that. so yeah… here’s to a new beginning. here’s to something. here’s to nothing.

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