i will not miss today.

hey blog. i need a hug. i’m in desperate need of a hug.

i don’t like people screaming at me, be it to just call me from downstairs. i’d rather they text me even though that would be a waste of credit, texting someone who’s in the same house. but i just don’t like it when people scream at me. they make me worried. i hate it. i hate it when people are screaming at me.

i have to admit that i’m tired. been sleep deprived lately for the sake of talking to him. i think i’m also getting sick. but mom’s been naggy ALL DAY and it’s driving me sick to my core. i cannot even count how many times she shout-called me, or how many times she shouted at me to do some random things or how she lectured me endlessly. i’ve been conscious all day long to keep my temper in check. i realize how tired people lose their tempers more easily than people who are well rested, and i tried. i really do. but i lost it, blog.

and just now i just had one of my worst conversations with mom. she just stood there and i was tearful and we just fought. it was one of the ugliest, crappiest scenes i have ever lived in my whole life i just didn’t know how i lived through that. she was persistent and i was persistent and we were just unyielding towards each other. i don’t care what she thinks. i have a mind of my own. i have my own way of solving my problems and they are indeed MY PROBLEMS. even if i have another way of solving my problems that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. i might regret this sometimes in the future, but a part of me can’t wait to actually undergo university life. i want to be free from all this shout-calls, the lectures, the ridiculous mouth fights that i sometimes have with my mother. i hate this side of the mother-daughter relationship. I HATE IT.

so i’m going to go sleep for tonight. having just one of my worst day ever, i can’t wait to actually get over today. i just hope that tomorrow would be better than today. it better be.

good night blog. ttyl when i’m feeling better.

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