getting in control

i need to calm down. i need to relax in a hectic schedule. now how am i going to do that?

yesterday was a really crappy day for me. and i was kinda grateful i didn’t get to write an account of that day because of i was dead tired. anyway, i would most probably write some strings of curse words that i will soon regret. i just don’t know what happened yesterday… i was tired, i was confused, and even though i claim to be a simple person, i’m actually quite complex. i hate to admit it, but i am. there, wrote it already. ><

i’m trying to compose myself and bring myself together once again. i have to get this proposal thing going, but i have to concentrate and focus on my examinations as well. i really want to achieve good marks. i really want to be the best that i can be–even though my best are sometimes not good enough, but i need to be able to do it. i really need to be able to bunch everything up and make it work.

one other reason why i may have broken down yesterday was because of the friend issue as well. i’m sort of okay with it now… but it’s hard for me not to think about it when i’m struggling. i just cannot get the thought of how good it would be to have a friend in difficult situations, as of yesterday, out of my head. i have issues.

but apart from that, life’s good. i’m stressing myself out with that huge chunk of problem now occupying most of the space in my brain. i’m literally a bomb ready to explode whenever. and you kinda get to ‘dislike’ yourself when you, finally, break down. because you get annoyed by all the little things, and you scream more frequently… it felt awful. i just hate it.

anyway, envisioning a good day today. i need to get a lot of things done today. so i hope that i can control myself more as of now. i cannot afford to go bleh~ today. wish me luck!

listening to: Nine – JYJ

picture: calm.by ~aknita

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