shut up.

i can only feel so much in a short period of time.

stress. happiness. sadness. dreariness. being tired. confusion.

so just let me live my own life. alright? because it is complicated as it is to actually live with one person in me as supposed to two people trying to influence my mood and the lot.

i bet this post does not sound sane. but my strings are getting loose here in areas of my brain, so i probably am insane already. just, stop counteracting everything that i say, stop making me confused, stop semi apologizing (if you are), and most of all just stop contradicting yourself! there are no need for fancy words if your actions do the opposite of what you say… making me confused furthermore.

you don’t need to explain anything. since i’m not actually blaming myself for all of the sins that i’ve made. and what is all the sin talk about? i’m not God. idk how people sin on a daily basis. but i repeat, i’m NOT blaming myself. i know that nothing grows and develops without imperfection and i’m accepting that. see? big difference to what you’ve assumed.

i think this whole thing that drives me wild is like a domino card. it’s like this chain of effect that couldn’t stop until the last card falls. i just want the cycle to stop already.

so just shut up. that would make me tons better. until then when i finally mature and find the key onto this problem i just cannot afford to talk to you, let alone meet you. i thought things have gotten better post talk on MSN. but then, i think i get happy too prematurely. it is not.


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