Galatians 5:22

But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

Galatians 5:22

this passage… i got from the book The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. gosh, do i envy him. he is like one of the most celebrated author of romance novels nowadays. in all honesty, i think his plot are not special, nor was it original. but he captured the emotions of all the little things in life and emphasize it until it’s impact could reach the heartstrings of his readers. such a good book coming from such a wonderful author, a standing ovation from me, Mr. Sparks.

but this post isn’t going to tell about the book, nor is it about my opinion about the book. it’s about myself. when i read the passage above from the book, i found myself thinking. i’m a catholic, and i do believe in God, even though i don’t classify myself as really religious… but i do believe that God exist. in heaven, in people, in life, and in myself. but i know that i sometime do question His presence inside of me. like this morning… i think he’s really faraway. so i prayed to him… and somehow, i get this feeling that his answer was the above passage.

i’m too overpowering. i’m not letting the Holy Spirit that i’m bestowed with when i’m baptized help me through my hardships. i’ve been too dominant. i want to love, i want to be happy, feel peace, be patient ( thus hardworking), be kind, be good, be faithful, be gentle and most of all, have self control over myself.

so i have acted like a kid today. i’ve cried my heart out, i’ve been too ambitious and selfish towards the world… but i’m not actually deeming myself fully mature. even when i’m already sixteen. so what? 16 is just a number. although i’m hoping to gain maturity as i grow older, i know that i’m still a kid inside. in living with the Holy Spirit, i’m hoping to be able to grow up, and really learn what there is to life. not just nags from teachers who just can’t get over themselves, but also respect them. respect their attitude, respect my talent, respect her ways of teaching, and also respecting myself.

so i guess, i also feel guilty for leaving you guys with such a hateful entry earlier. but that’s just who i am. and i have to learn to love myself, respect myself and also forgive myself.

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