because i’m a miss grumpy today. and i couldn’t help it. shoot me.
you’re strong. you’re strong. you’re strong.
that is what i keep repeating on my way to my piano teacher’s house. holding an umbrella, wearing my P.E uniform with my hair tied into an untidy bun. really, i’m a mess.
and dang… when it rains. have i told you that i get melancholic once it starts raining? for some reasons i do. and that is not because i wanted to, (i’m sure that i could change that if i’m determined– but my energy is better wasted on other things rather than habits that wouldn’t hurt) but it was because of a habit of mine.
i’m back though 😀 and yeah, i survived.
you’ll never know how scared i am to face the 5th of November. i have set up a mental alarm in my head but yeah… i’m somehow dreading but at the same time hoping for that day >.< you guys’ll know why later, because that day would be historical for me this year.
but i really do have to once again pull myself together and believe that i can do it. i’m really low in self-respect right now… partly because i think i’m being more and more incompetent as time goes by, but that is another matter entirely.bottom line is that i cannot expect people to respect me if i, initially, am not respecting myself. what matters now is that i get my butt moving on instead of just staring at people already advancing at the same spot.
i’m not a loser.
and losing, despite not being entirely wrong, doesn’t feel nice. so yes, i’m moving on.
i’ll see you tomorrow when my heart’s less cloudy peeps. i love ya 😉
mood: grr~ enough said.
listening to: Falling Slowly – Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova