reality hurts

being sick and tired of all of this, this is the only place i have to go complaining about my things. so bear with me okay?

it’s about reality my friends, and however common and corny it may sound, it certainly is NOT. i guess yesterday could be said as the calm before the storm. i should’ve known better. if the calm was that bad, then the storm must be worse, and i was right. the thing about all of this is that a tear stricken face is just so not normal for me, and idk how those actors and actresses work that out on the movie, but i know that Titanic will for some reasons be the most tiresome movie that was ever made because crying takes a hell of a lot of energy.

don’t expect a short post, because i’m not giving them this time. it would be a long post, a long long post.

you know the thing about moms? they constantly worry about you. i would probably be like that too when i’m one, but this time, i wanted to be left alone and solve my problems on my own. it’s about my weight again. (why is it always about that? i’m tired of that) what’s wrong with my weight anyway? i’m getting fatter? fine i’ll diet. let me do my own way of dieting. the thing that got into me was that she said that i might turn ‘anorexic’. i cringed at that word. why does she think that i’m sick? okay, i know the whole thing about anorexic people thinking that they are still fat even though they are like skin and bone, but i’m not that thin. as a matter of fact, i’m not thin to be honest. i still have fat clinging to my things, you know, so just chill. i’m still eating. i know the difference between dieting and starving. thank you very much.

second… do you know what group work means? working in groups. right… so the thing about my group is that they’re not working together. get it? it might sound childish at first, but if you’re, to say, construct a bulletin board in the span of just what a WEEK? yourself? i’ve done it with the last one, me myself, working on that bulletin board like a loon, fine, i get it. i’m P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C. can you just see my pathetic-ism and just help me get done with the job already? some of the members of the group are okay. they help, but i must say, reluctantly. i know this bulletin board has been such a failure. no one even reads it… but it comes as something obligatory to me, so i really really need to get this done. plus, it’s my responsibility as coordinator. why can’t the members do as they’re told? i only need sympathy and a few lines of writings to be honest… is that asking too much? i know they have what they call homeworks and personal problems. but hell! i have them too! what? do you think that i don’t have them… hah!~ i’m not God. get rid of that thought straight away if you please.

third. sister problem. my sister is just about one of the weirdest things i’ve encountered. i love her as much as i hate her. well, most of us are like that right? well, she’d been bullied at school, and having a gruesome past experience, i kinda relate to her situation a bit. well, scratch that. not a bit. a LOT. despite having to shout at her numerous times in a day, i still love her nonetheless. and it hurts me to see her friends backstabbing her in the end when what she did was just trying and trying all the time. see, this jerkette, (let’s just call her that) was her friend. and what i am about to tell you is gross and so kindergarten like, but she could be said as an ex-bff to my sister. she most likely spread rumors regarding my sisters resulting as her friends ignoring her and such. i hate to say this, but i’m angry. even though the problem is not solely mine, but i don’t like it when my sister is ignored like she had this kind of skin disease on her. she’s really nice.. even when being such a pain in the ass. she is nice, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way.

fourth (a long list huh? -.-) work. all of those things that unreasonable teachers asked out of us. be open minded for a bit will ya? i’m not trying to break my spring resolution here, but i’m gonna in a short time if this doesn’t stop, because it got to stop. teachers are walking down a school corridor in which i’ve paid for like Gods. literally. long things short, if you want to be respected, respect us as well. because we are human with equal rights.

so there. i’ve said it. i may look like some loser who complains about everything, but again, unlike my friends, i can’t say this aloud. i’m starting to think that i’m a coward who cannot stand up for herself and that infuriates me. all i could do is just write in this blog of mine. really sorry for the uber long post, but i just can’t help it. i have to explode somewhere, right? so i did it here, and i can say that i feel a hell of a lot better after writing all of this out of my chest. my fingers were like dancing across the keyboard when i was writing this. but i felt… relieved somehow. and that’s a nice feeling. i’m probably tired and i’m sorry as to have acted a little immature in this post, but i couldn’t help it. i just had to. i’m experiencing one of my bad days now.

i’m hoping to meet you in a different circumstance. a lighter one. a happier one hopefully 😀 i’m hoping that putting a smiley on this post would brighten it up just a tiny bit. i know i’m failing on that, but whatever… at least i can still say that accepting your failures are just the start to big successes right? until then… see ya.

mood: relieved

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