wow… i realized that i have been so incompetent as to keeping my promise.
well, i have a lot of things going on, not being able to update.
i’m typing quickly now as well… Viv might as well smell like tofu since i just came back from a quick lunch. (having lunch at 10AM.. but who cares? lol) and i didn’t bother to wash my hands just yet. (gross…) sorry Viv.
anyway, there is this wedding coming up, and i’m supposed to be one of those girls who receives the guest in front of the wedding reception hall. i might say, being Indonesian, the ‘uniform’ or attire i will have to use is some modernized ‘kebaya’. the thing with it is just that it clings to the curve of your body. and i…. naturally feel insecure.
i’m not a girl who thinks about her weight 24/7, but when a lot of people come up to me and say that i look ‘a bit’ fatter, i get flustered so easily. my mom had always drove me into the ‘self respect’ kind of thing, and i have to say that she did well because i come to respect myself, but with people clinging to me saying that i looked fatter, that doesn’t help resolve the problem.
i just hope that i can ‘thin down’ a bit… not for the sake of anybody else, but for me as well. because even though you don’t think about your weight every so often, it sticks to the inside of your head when your surroundings are chanting them. at least, that’s what i feel.