“dream, robbie, dream. right here, right now. anything you choose. crack the sun open and paint your face with its yolk. cast the fragments from you and turn the world to smoke. pull the tacks from the night and roll the sky up. a new universe? say the word– i’ll make one for you. you, just you and little fristeen. i’m the dream man. bid your curled body goodbye and come with me.”
quick spectrogram reading.
frication with energy bands concentrated at a high frequency; a relatively low back vowel; antiformants and voicing bar indicating nasals; an unstressed rhotic indicated by the falling F3, and creaky voicing at the very end to finish it up with a glottal stop.
stress at first syllable.
sorry for my shameless bragging but i’m so stoked that i can (finally) read spectrograms now ! (although you should never blind read. never) but point being… i just finished my last final for this school year yesterday!~ praise the Lord.
it’s officially summer.
H-4 before phonetics finals and i’m kind of scared, kind of nervous, but also kind of excited to get my ass kicked.
i think i finally realized why i wasn’t doing much this year… why i am in a constant disappointment with myself, and not writing or updating my blog because honestly i felt like crap and i didn’t feel like showing any side of that crap.
i was not ambitious this past year. i had no ambition. i didn’t realize when but i think i subconsciously had enough of the competition and it was as if my body did shut down because all i wanted to do was watch korean reality shows in the internet. the thing about being ambitious is that it makes you feel stupid. because there’s so much more that you want to accomplish and so little time, and so many people smarter than you, and having an easier time than you do, and all you can do is just stare at those people and the time that passed away with a mean eye. but then i realize that you feel even more stupid when you don’t try your hardest, even worse, it makes you feel like a fool.
i guess i’ve decided that i’ve had enough of being just another layperson and i’m going to fight for what i want to just like the old days (that makes me sound so very old when i’m only turning nineteen this year -_-) my grades have been decent, but of course, i have never settled for decent in my entire life and i guess that was what landed me in McGill. i should not just settle for decent.
and furthermore…. linguistics is my baby. i’d do anything for it. i spent 2 days of my life in the plane for freakin’ linguistics and i’d be damned if i’m not taking this seriously. if it’s too late now, i swear i’ll try harder next year.
also i love you people who are still reading my blog even when i haven’t been updating much. ):
and if you think i’m not being serious, that is a waveform of my voice. i was saying i love you. i meant it.
yesterday, i forgot my phone in the library’s washroom.
was actually on the metro before i blatantly curse myself out loud (winning the stares of a LOT of people in the metro) for being so helplessly stupid in forgetting just about one of the most important things in my life. i rushed back but my little feet could only do so much and when i checked the washroom, my phone was gone.
i was actually in the verge of tears as i retrace my steps back to the places that i’ve been in the library. a kind guy even lent me his phone to check if my phone was actually active or if someone has it. no one picked up.
finally, already losing a little hope, i went to the security guy who always circles around the library, …. and he had my phone.
he had my phone
he had my precious phone
he had my phone which, although is very precious to me, was forgotten in the washroom because i was being such a tool.
apparently someone found it and gave it to the security guy so that he could give it back to me.
i was very grateful. see, i know good people exist, but i have never experienced the grace of meeting good people up until yesterday when i was already sweating like a pig. i was praising the Lord on my way back home…. i swear i could already see my parents’ disappointed faces if i actually (eventually) skype them and tell them that my phone went missing because their daughter couldn’t take better care of her stuff.
stupid stupid stupid. i promise i’ll take better care of my things. to the girl who gave my phone to the security guy, you don’t know how much i thank you for this because i myself don’t know how much i’m so grateful for your existence. you have (literally) saved my life from the wrath of my parents.
so i guess this will be my super belated christmas post since christmas is really 5 months ago, and i’m only writing this now. but i’m going to start writing again…. as the purpose of this blog is for me to be human and grow old and forget most of the things that i did when i was young, and this blog will help remind me that i have not lived a useless and empty life.
anyhow. the christmas here was so much different than christmas back home. Montreal transformed into a ghost town and there’s nothing that i can do about it. unlike in Indonesia when stores open extra hours just so that they can get more customers, all the shops here close because everyone is celebrating with their families and loved ones. while on the other hand, i was rotting away in my dorm, having the whole 8th floor to myself, and i have to admit that i was actually feeling quite depressed.
it was also coincidentally one of the coldest times of the winter. i remember just maybe a couple of days before christmas, a snowstorm happened and i was locked in my dorm with only celeries in my fridge and i swear i cannot be more miserable. so i basically transformed myself to a pig and lie on my bed the whole day through, catching up on sleep that i’ve been missing throughout the first semester, and all the while eating my celery while watching A WHOLE LOT of korean dramas.
i did go to a very beautiful mass at St. Patrick’s Basilica and the procession was gorgeous. the lights and the choir and just everything was amazing. but i wished my family was here, especially my mom, because everything was just so cold and so dry and so empty. i did have a white christmas, but still i’d rather have it with my family back in hot scorching Indonesia rather than here alone. ):
but regardless of everything, i did have a good christmas even though it wasn’t exactly fulfilling. (: xoxo
i know i have been MIA…. but i guess that is no longer a surprise eh blog? i have been doing that so often now it’s not even funny.
i hope i’ll be writing more in the near future. still in Montreal, doing a summer course on phonetics and loving it so far. life is beautiful and summer is amazing after the draggy winter that i swore only ended sometime in April =_= . Montreal. tsk.
anyways. i’ll make this post short and sweet since this will be basically my ‘coming back’ post. but i want to tell you about a lesson that i learnt…. just this morning actually.
i woke up with just about one of the more surprising news that i’ve received since i don’t know when…. life has been boring and i was basking in the luxury of it but of course irony is nothing if not consistent. i heard something that i can’t say is bad news, but at the same time isn’t good either. if anything it left me a little disappointed but it may also be my fault for thinking that maybe, just maybe, people would understand and act mature about it.
i told a friend about it, and you know what she said? she told me to put my shit together. and i’m so grateful she said that.
i have been living a life where people think i’ll always be able to put my shit together, and i’m happy that at least someone knows that sometimes i just don’t feel like putting my shit together. sometimes i just want to let loose, and the fact that she reminded me that i had to put my shit together puts me at ease because i know someone is there looking out for me and telling me that i better do that otherwise everything’ll spiral downwards.
it’s so funny how you discover things, or discover friends, when you’re actually so far away from them. at that instant when she told me to put my shit together, i know that i can rely on her, and that she’s a good friend.
i haven’t slept since 6 in the morning yesterday. i have been awake (and studying) for almost 40 hours.
remember when i told you i’d finish my log 2 even if it’s the last thing i do?
i meant it. i meant it and kept my word and i am beyond tired right now you have no idea.
i don’t understand people who can say: “i haven’t been sleeping for three days now.”
what. what did you just say.
i am human. humans need to sleep. humans need to sleep so that their old cells can die and be renewed and energy replenished and blood circulation goes well and the other good stuff that must be happening to my body when i’m sleeping.
so when my friend Mete told me to just shut down in the cafeteria floor i was seriously considering it.
but i did it. i finished my log 2. i crawled and i reached it. thank goodness for all that.
hello blog….. i’m writing one of those posts again. those nonsensical random posts that i used to write so much but haven’t written since :/ forever.
Montreal is really beautiful lately. i think winter is finally…. finally starting to transition into spring. i, have nothing against the snow, but it’s nice to know that the sun will be coming out more frequently now. i think i came to understand why people get depressed more when they don’t get the sun often. it’s cold and it’s drab, especially when you’re far away from the people that you love and everyone here are just strangers you happen to pass by only once or twice, or even never.
the weather forecast predicted that it may snow again tomorrow, but for today the weather is just nothing but lovely. it’s not too cold, it’s sunny, and i keep on hearing this melody inside my head. it’s a song that makes you want to fall in love… sort of ballad-y, sort of not, accompanied by acoustic guitar and soft beats of drum. it is just me. i am completely aware that it is only me imagining that song. but if i have to describe it, it’s something close to that video that i posted in the above. i am completely in love with that song. love it.
i am a little sick today… running a low fever but i can’t afford to rest since i have been resting like a slimy pig during reading week and obviously got nothing done (except for some latin translation that i’m very proud of to have finished) so i have to do all of this right now. -_- i can’t wait for the weekend. i’m telling myself that i’m halfway there already–most days i would tell myself to shut up and run, and of course by that i mean to not think about it and just do my work, but i can’t do that today. i am too sick and dizzy but i’m going to get my log 2 done today. even if that’s the last thing that i do, even if i have to crawl towards it, i would.
anyways~ the sun is absolutely wonderful and sort of cheered me up a little bit. and i have to get started right now if i am planning to get it done today.
have a blessed day my loves. i just want you all to know that you are precious and you each deserve the sun and the wind and all the goodies that comes with a lovely day.
what i have been listening to these past few months.
this and Justin Bieber’s Beauty and the Beat. because this has been playing non-stop in my caf and you know the caf is the heart and soul of my rez life so how can i not listen to this song. (?)
anyways. the chorus of this song has been ringing in my head so i figure :/ might as well do a post about it.
hi friends. … … (:
the last two posts weren’t exactly pleasant were they? i guess the weather just got into me or maybe i was having those days when you hated everyone you don’t know why for the life of you that you did. but you did anyways, so :/
anyways~ hopefully i’m over that phase now. i just felt like blogging today–currently waiting @ redpath library for a friend to head out to this sandwich place that is apparently “very good” but i’ve never been. also dreading studying for midterm, hence being in the library, but blogging instead.
it is so nice out.
i really have nothing else to say. my life has been quite bland these last couple of days, or weeks, or past month. but i really feel like typing and writing right now, just not school related stuff. i wish i had more exciting news or stories to tell you, but there really isn’t and it’ll be quite ridiculous to make one up just for the sake of it, but you know what… i’ll open my eyes wider for adventure and fun, and maybe stupiditybecause that always spices things up.
oh! and the pictures are up from the ski trip.
i might blog a little about that in a few (: hopefully while also getting my work done.