it’s 230 in the morning and i’m still awake.

i’m having my friday night- saturday early morning off having a drama marathon on my own, and one thing led to another… soon enough it was like having flashbacks of the times that we spent together.

as cheesy, and probably as romantically revolting as it sounds, i keep on remembering his smile- and he’s not exactly the type of person who can smile, you know. he cringes in front of the camera, and he doesn’t really take a proper picture without pulling his… cringe. but he actually smiles okay when he means it.

i miss him. and i’ve gone through many missing-people-moments that i know better than to deny it. there was this time when we laughed at the facebook messages his cousin sent him- his cousin cannot really speak English that well, but he tried, and it was funny. there is also this picture of the both of us, that we took while waiting for the fireworks to start in Toronto. that was the only, sort of genuine, smiling picture that i have of the both of us, and at least to me he looked sincerely happy.

but was he though?

it doesn’t really matter right now… for now, i’m restraining myself with all the fibers in my body to not text message him. alas, 230 AM decisions are never the best decisions anyway.

and maybe missing him like this too, is also a part of the process of moving on.